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Oh, how I love books [27 Jan 2009|10:37pm] This is the ultimate bookworm meme. The list is The Guardian's List of 1000 Must-Read Books Here are the rules: 1. Bold the ones you've read cover to cover. 2. Italicize the ones you've read partially. 3. Underline the ones you want to read. 4. Put an asterisk next to the ones you actually liked. 5. Provide comments wherever necessary Summary: I have read 6.6% of the books on this list. If you count the uncompleted books as half-finished, I have read 7.4%. Comedy * Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis * Money by Martin Amis * The Information by Martin Amis * The Bottle Factory Outing by Beryl Bainbridge * According to Queeney by Beryl Bainbridge * Flaubert's Parrot by Julian Barnes * A History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters by Julian Barnes * Augustus Carp, Esq. by Himself: Being the Autobiography of a Really Good Man by Henry Howarth Bashford * Molloy by Samuel Beckett * Zuleika Dobson by Max Beerbohm * The Adventures of Augie March by Saul Bellow * The Uncommon Reader by Alan Bennett * Queen Lucia by EF Benson * The Ascent of Rum Doodle by WE Bowman * A Good Man in Africa by William Boyd * The History Man by Malcolm Bradbury * No Bed for Bacon by Caryl Brahms and SJ Simon * Illywhacker by Peter Carey * A Season in Sinji by JL Carr * The Harpole Report by JL Carr * The Hearing Trumpet by Leonora Carrington * Mister Johnson by Joyce Cary * The Horse's Mouth by Joyce Cary * Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes * The Case of the Gilded Fly by Edmund Crispin * Just William by Richmal Crompton * The Provincial Lady by EM Delafield * Slouching Towards Kalamazoo by Peter De Vries * The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens * Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens * Jacques the Fatalist and his Master by Denis Diderot * A Fairy Tale of New York by JP Donleavy * The Commitments by Roddy Doyle * Ennui by Maria Edgeworth * Cheese by Willem Elsschot * *Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding * Joseph Andrews by Henry Fielding * Tom Jones by Henry Fielding * Caprice by Ronald Firbank * Bouvard et Pécuchet by Gustave Flaubert * Towards the End of the Morning by Michael Frayn * The Polygots by William Gerhardie * Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons * Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol-Not my favorite, but I do like this author. * Oblomov by Ivan Goncharov * The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame * Brewster's Millions by Richard Greaves (George Barr McCutcheon) * Squire Haggard's Journal by Michael Green * Our Man in Havana by Graham Greene * Travels with My Aunt by Graham Greene * Diary of a Nobody by George Grossmith * The Little World of Don Camillo by Giovanni Guareschi * The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon * Catch-22 by Joseph Heller * Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House by Eric Hodgkins * High Fidelity by Nick Hornby * I Served the King of England by Bohumil Hrabal * The Lecturer's Tale by James Hynes * Mr Norris Changes Trains by Christopher Isherwood * The Mighty Walzer Howard by Jacobson * Pictures from an Institution by Randall Jarrell * Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K Jerome * Finnegans Wake by James Joyce * The Castle by Franz Kafka * Lake Wobegon Days by Garrison Keillor * Death and the Penguin by Andrey Kurkov * The Debt to Pleasure by John Lanchester * L'Histoire de Gil Blas de Santillane (Gil Blas) Alain-René Lesage * Changing Places by David Lodge * Nice Work by David Lodge * The Towers of Trebizond by Rose Macaulay * England, Their England by AG Macdonell * Whisky Galore by Compton Mackenzie * Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf by David Madsen * Cakes and Ale - Or, the Skeleton in the Cupboard by W Somerset Maugham * Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin * Bright Lights, Big City by Jay McInerney * Puckoon by Spike Milligan * The Restraint of Beasts by Magnus Mills * Charade by John Mortimer * Titmuss Regained by John Mortimer * Under the Net by Iris Murdoch * Pnin by Vladimir Nabokov * Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov * The Sacred Book of the Werewolf by Victor Pelevin * La Disparition by Georges Perec * Les Revenentes by Georges Perec * La Vie Mode d'Emploi by Georges Perec * My Search for Warren Harding by Robert Plunkett * A Dance to the Music of Time by Anthony Powell * A Time to be Born by Dawn Powell * Excellent Women by Barbara Pym * Less Than Angels by Barbara Pym * Zazie in the Metro by Raymond Queneau * Solomon Gursky Was Here by Mordecai Richler * Alms for Oblivion by Simon Raven * Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth * The Westminster Alice by Saki * The Unbearable Bassington by Saki * Hurrah for St Trinian's by Ronald Searle * Great Apes by Will Self * Porterhouse Blue by Tom Sharpe * Blott on the Landscape by Tom Sharpe * Office Politics by Wilfrid Sheed * Belles Lettres Papers: A Novel by Charles Simmons * Moo by Jane Smiley * Topper Takes a Trip by Thorne Smith * The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom by Tobias Smollett * The Adventures of Roderick Random by Tobias Smollett * The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle by Tobias Smollett * The Expedition of Humphry Clinker by Tobias Smollett * The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Spark * The Girls of Slender Means by Muriel Spark * The Driver's Seat by Muriel Spark * Loitering with Intent by Muriel Spark * A Far Cry from Kensington by Muriel Spark * The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman by Laurence Sterne-The movie's great. * White Man Falling by Mike Stocks * Handley Cross by RS Surtees * A Tale of a Tub by Jonathan Swift * Penrod by Booth Tarkington * The Luck of Barry Lyndon by William Makepeace Thackeray * Before Lunch by Angela Thirkell * Tropic of Ruislip by Leslie Thomas * A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole * Barchester Towers by Anthony Trollope * Venus on the Half-Shell by Kilgore Trout * The Mysterious Stranger by Mark Twain * The Witches of Eastwick by John Updike * Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut * Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace * Decline and Fall by Evelyn Waugh * Vile Bodies by Evelyn Waugh * Black Mischief by Evelyn Waugh * Scoop by Evelyn Waugh * The Loved One by Evelyn Waugh * A Handful of Dust by Evelyn Waugh * The Life and Loves of a She-Devil by Fay Weldon * Tono Bungay by HG Wells * Molesworth by Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle * The Wimbledon Poisoner by Nigel Williams * Anglo-Saxon Attitudes by Angus Wilson * Something Fresh by PG Wodehouse * Piccadilly Jim by PG Wodehouse * Thank You Jeeves by PG Wodehouse * Heavy Weather by PG Wodehouse * The Code of the Woosters by PG Wodehouse * in the Morning by PG Wodehouse Crime * The Man with the Golden Arm by Nelson Algren * by Marcel Allain and Pierre Souvestre * The Mask of Dimitrios by Eric Ambler * Epitaph for a Spy by Eric Ambler * Journey into Fear by Eric Ambler * The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster * Trent's Last Case by EC Bentley * The Poisoned Chocolates Case by Anthony Berkeley * The Beast Must Die by Nicholas Blake * Lady Audley's Secret by Mary E Braddon * The Neon Rain by James Lee Burke * The Tin Roof Blowdown by James Lee Burke * The Thirty-Nine Steps by John Buchan * Greenmantle by John Buchan * The Asphalt Jungle by WR Burnett * The Postman Always Rings Twice by James M Cain * Double Indemnity by James M Cain * True History of the Ned Kelly Gang by Peter Carey * The Hollow Man by John Dickson Carr * The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler * The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler * No Orchids for Miss Blandish by James Hadley Chase * The Riddle of the Sands by Erskine Childers * *And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie * *The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie * *The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie * *The Murder at the Vicarage by Agatha Christie * *The Secret Adversary by Agatha Christie-I recommend all AGatha Christies, and for starters I now have several Poirot movies/tv segments to start you on. Little gray cells! * The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins * The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins * A Study in Scarlet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle * *The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle * The Sign of Four by Arthur Conan Doyle-Not actually that much of a Holmes fan, but in small doses he's amusing. * The Manchurian Candidate by Richard Condon * The Secret Agent by Joseph Conrad * Under Western Eyes by Joseph Conrad * Postmortem by Patricia Cornwell * The Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton * Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton * Poetic Justice by Amanda Cross * The Ipcress File by Len Deighton * Last Seen Wearing by Colin Dexter * The Remorseful Day by Colin Dexter * Ratking by Michael Dibdin * Dead Lagoon by Michael Dibdin * Dirty Tricks by Michael Dibdin * A Rich Full Death by Michael Dibdin * Vendetta by Michael Dibdin * Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky * An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser * My Cousin Rachel by Daphne du Maurier * The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas * The Pledge by Friedrich Durrenmatt * The Crime of Father Amado by José Maria de Eça de Queiroz * The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco * American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis * LA Confidential by James Ellroy * The Big Nowhere by James Ellroy * A Quiet Belief in Angels by RJ Ellory * Sanctuary by William Faulkner * Casino Royale by Ian Fleming * Goldfinger by Ian Fleming * You Only Live Twice by Ian Fleming * The Day of the Jackal by Frederick Forsyth * Brighton Rock by Graham Greene * Gun for Sale by Graham Greene * Ministry of Fear by Graham Greene * The Third Man by Graham Greene * A Time to Kill by John Grisham * The King of Torts by John Grisham * Hangover Square by Patrick Hamilton * The Glass Key by Dashiell Hammett * The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett * *Red Harvest by Dashiell Hammett-Recommend it. * The Thin Man by Dashiell Hammett * Fatherland by Robert Harris * Black Sunday by Thomas Harris * Red Dragon by Thomas Harris * Tourist Season by Carl Hiaasen * The Friends of Eddie Coyle by George V Higgins * Strangers on a Train by Patricia Highsmith * The Talented Mr Ripley by Patricia Highsmith * Bones and Silence by Reginald Hill * A Rage in Harlem by Chester Himes * Miss Smilla's Feeling for Snow by Peter Hoeg * Rogue Male by Geoffrey Household * Malice Aforethought by Francis Iles * Silence of the Grave by Arnadur Indridason * Death at the President's Lodging by Michael Innes * Cover Her Face by PD James * A Taste for Death by PD James * Friday the Rabbi Slept Late by Harry Kemelman * Misery by Stephen King * Dolores Claiborne by Stephen King * by Rudyard Kipling * The Constant Gardener by John le Carre * Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy by John le Carre * The Spy Who Came in from the Cold by John le Carre * To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee * 52 Pick-up by Elmore Leonard * Get Shorty by Elmore Leonard * Motherless Brooklyn by Jonathan Lethem * The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum * Cop Hater by Ed McBain * No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy * Enduring Love by Ian McEwan * Sidetracked by Henning Mankell * Devil in a Blue Dress by Walter Mosley * The Great Impersonation by E Phillips Oppenheim * The Strange Borders of Palace Crescent by E Phillips Oppenheim * My Name is Red by Orhan Pamuk * Toxic Shock by Sara Paretsky * Blacklist by Sara Paretsky * Nineteen Seventy Four by David Peace * Nineteen Seventy Seven by David Peace * The Big Blowdown by George Pelecanos * Hard Revolution by George Pelecanos * Lush Life by Richard Price * The Godfather by Mario Puzo * V by Thomas Pynchon * The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon * Black and Blue by Ian Rankin * The Hanging Gardens by Ian Rankin * Exit Music by Ian Rankin * Judgment in Stone by Ruth Rendell * Live Flesh by Ruth Rendell * Dissolution by CJ Sansom * Whose Body? by Dorothy L Sayers * Murder Must Advertise by Dorothy Le Sayers * The Madman of Bergerac by Georges Simenon * The Blue Room by Georges Simenon * The Laughing Policeman by Maj Sjowall and Per Wahloo * Gorky Park by Martin Cruz Smith * Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck * The League of Frightened Men by Rex Stout * Perfume by Patrick Suskind * The Secret History by Donna Tartt * The Daughter of Time by Josephine Tey * The Getaway by Jim Thompson * Pudd'nhead Wilson by Mark Twain * A Dark-Adapted Eye by Barbara Vine * A Fatal inversion by Barbara Vine * King Solomon's Carpet by Barbara Vine * The Four Just Men by Edgar Wallace * Fingersmith by Sarah Waters * Native Son by Richard Wright-Kept wanting to like it, but it wasn't gonna happen. * Therese Raquin by Emile Zola Family and self * The Face of Another by Kobo Abe * *Little Women by Louisa May Alcott-Parents accidentally gave me a kid's version that ends with Beth's Christmas recovery, so that's how far I got. * Behind the Scenes at the Museum by Kate Atkinson * Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood * Epileptic by David B * Room Temperature by Nicholson Baker * Grandet by Honore de Balzac * Le Pere Goriot by Honore de Balzac * The Crow Road by Iain Banks * The L Shaped Room by Lynne Reid Banks * Fun Home by Alison Bechdel * Malone Dies by Samuel Beckett * A Legacy by Sybille Bedford * Herzog by Saul Bellow * Humboldt's Gift by Saul Bellow * The Old Wives' Tale by Arnold Bennett * G by John Berger * Extinction by Thomas Bernhard * Two Serious Ladies by Jane Bowles * Any Human Heart by William Boyd * The Death of Virgil by Hermann Broch * Evelina by Fanny Burney * Way of All Flesh by Samuel Butler * The Sound of my Voice by Ron Butlin * The Outsider by Albert Camus * Children by Angela Carter * The Professor's House by Willa Cather * The Wapshot Chronicle by John Cheever * The Awakening by Kate Chopin * Les Enfants Terrible by Jean Cocteau * The Vagabond by Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette * Manservant and Maidservant by Ivy Compton-Burnett * Being Dead by Jim Crace * Quarantine by Jim Crace * The Mandarins by Simone de Beauvoir * Roxana by Daniel Defoe * Great Expectations by Charles Dickens * The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky * My New York Diary by Julie Doucet * The Millstone by Margaret Drabble * My Family and Other Animals by Gerald Durrell * Silence by Shusaku Endo * The Gathering by Anne Enright * Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides * As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner * The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner * The Sportswriter by Richard Ford * Howards End by EM Forster * Spies by Michael Frayn * Hideous Kinky by Esther Freud * The Man of Property by John Galsworthy * Mary Barton by Elizabeth Gaskell * The Immoralist by Andre Gide * The Vatican Cellars by Andre Gide * Vicar of Wakefield by Oliver Goldsmith * The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene * Hunger by Knut Hamsun * The Shrimp and the Anemone by LP Hartley * The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway * Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse * Narziss and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse * The Three Paradoxes by Paul Hornschemeier * Brown's Schooldays by Thomas Hughes * Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving * The Ambassadors by Henry James * Washington Square by Henry James-Don't like it, don't like it a'tall. * Tortoise and the Hare by Elizabeth Jenkins * Unfortunates by BS Johnson * A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce * Ulysses by James Joyce * Good Behaviour by Molly Keane * Memet my Hawk by Yasar Kemal * One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey * The Buddha of Suburbia by Hanif Kureishi * Sons and Lovers by DH Lawrence * Cider with Rosie by Laurie Lee * Invitation to the Waltz by Rosamond Lehmann * The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing * How Green was My Valley by Richard Llewellyn * Eden by Jack London * Under the Volcano by Malcolm Lowry * The Member of the Wedding by Carson McCullers * Palace Walk by Naguib Mahfouz * The Assistant by Bernard Malamud * Buddenbrooks by Thomas Mann * The Chateau by William Maxwell * Rector's Daughter by FM Mayor * The Ordeal of Richard Feverek by George Meredith * Matters by Rohinton Mistry * Sour Sweet by Timothy Mo * The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne by Brian Moore * The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison * Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison * Who Do You Think You Are? by Alice Munro * The Black Prince by Iris Murdoch * The Man Without Qualities by Robert Musil * A House for Mr Biswas by VS Naipaul * At-Swim-Two-Birds by Flann O'Brien * Teach Us to Outgrow Our Madness by Kezaburo Oe * The Moviegoer by Walker Percy * *The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath * My Name Is Asher Lev by Chaim Potok * The Good Companions by JB Priestley * The Shipping News by E Annie Proulx * Remembrance of Things Past by Marcel Proust-The man is CRAZY. In an interesting way, though. Best in small doses. * A Married Man by Piers Paul Read * Pointed Roofs by Dorothy Richardson * The Fortunes of Richard Mahoney by Henry Handel Richardson * Call it Sleep by Henry Roth * Julie, ou la Nouvelle Heloise by Jean-Jacques Rousseau * The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy * The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger * Alberta and Jacob by Cora Sandel * A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth * Unless by Carol Shields * We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver * The Three Sisters by May Sinclair * The Family Moskat or The Manor or The Estate by Isaac Bashevis Singer * A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley * On Beauty by Zadie Smith * The Man Who Loved Children by Christina Stead * East of Eden by John Steinbeck * Ballet Shoes by Noel Streatfield * Confessions of Zeno by Italo Svevo * The Magnificent Ambersons by Booth Tarkington * Angel by Elizabeth Taylor * Lark Rise to Candleford by Flora Thompson * The Blackwater Lightship by Colm Toibin * The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4 by Sue Townsend * Death in Summer by William Trevor * Fathers and Sons by Ivan Turgenev * Peace in War by Miguel de Unamuno * The Rabbit Omnibus by John Updike * The Color Purple by Alice Walker * Jimmy Corrigan, The Smarest Kid on Earth by Chris Ware * Morvern Callar by Alan Warner * The History of Mr Polly by HG Wells * The Fountain Overflows by Rebecca West * Frost in May by Antonia White * The Tree of Man by Patrick White * *The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde-As a kid, don't remember particularly well. * Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson * I'll Go to Bed at Noon by Gerard Woodward * To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf * Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf * Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David Wyss Love * Le Grand Meaulnes by Henri Alain-Fournier * Dom Casmurro Joaquim by Maria Machado de Assis * *Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen * *Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen * *Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen * *Mansfield Park by Jane Austen * *Emma by Jane Austen * *Persuasion by Jane Austen -My favorite one! * Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin * Nightwood by Djuna Barnes * The Garden of the Finzi-Cortinis by Giorgio Bassani * Love for Lydia by HE Bates * More Die of Heartbreak by Saul Bellow * Lorna Doone by RD Blackmore * The Death of the Heart by Elizabeth Bowen * The Heat of the Day by Elizabeth Bowen * *Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte * Vilette by Charlotte Bronte * Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte * Look At Me by Anita Brookner * Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown * Possession by AS Byatt * Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote * Oscar and Lucinda by Peter Carey * A Month in the Country by JL Carr * My Antonia by Willa Cather * A Lost Lady by Willa Cather * Claudine a l'ecole by Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette * Cheri by Sidonie-Gabrielle Collette * Victory: An Island Tale by Joseph Conrad * The Princess of Cleves by Madame de Lafayette * The Parasites by Daphne du Maurier * Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier * The Lover by Marguerite Duras * Adam Bede by George Eliot * Daniel Deronda by George Eliot * The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot * Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides * The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald * Tender is the Night by F Scott Fitzgerald * The Blue Flower by Penelope Fitzgerald * Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert * The Good Soldier by Ford Madox Ford * *A Room with a View by EM Forster-Like it. Bit roundaboutish, though. * The French Lieutenant's Woman by John Fowles * The Snow Goose by Paul Gallico * Ruth by Elizabeth Gaskell * Strait is the Gate by Andre Gide * Sunset Song by Lewis Grassic Gibbon * The Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang Goethe * Living by Henry Green * The End of the Affair by Graham Greene * The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall * Far From the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy * Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy * Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy-Hatred of Thomas Hardy is one of my most satisfying literary tenets. BBC made a version of it I can actually stand, though. * The Woodlanders by Thomas Hardy * The Go-Between by LP Hartley * The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne * The Transit of Venus by Shirley Hazzard * A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway * *The Infamous Army by Georgette Heyer-Have written a review for this at rambles.net * *Regency Buck by Georgette Heyer * The Swimming-Pool Library by Alan Hollinghurst * Green Mansions: A Romance of the Tropical Forest by WH Hudson * Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston * Crome Yellow by Aldous Huxley * The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro * Portrait of a Lady by Henry James * The Wings of the Dove by Henry James * The Piano Teacher by Elfriede Jelinek * Beauty and Saddness by Yasunari Kawabata * The Far Pavillions by Mary Margaret Kaye * Zorba the Greek by Nikos Kazantzakis * Moon over Africa by Pamela Kent * The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera * The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera * Les Liaisons Dangereuses by Pierre-Ambroise-Francois Choderlos de Laclos * Lady Chatterley's Lover by DH Lawrence * The Rainbow by DH Lawrence * Women in Love by DH Lawrence * The Echoing Grove by Rosamond Lehmann * The Weather in the Streets by Rosamond Lehmann * Gentlemen Prefer Blondes by Anita Loos * Zami by Audre Lorde * Foreign Affairs by Alison Lurie * Samarkand by Amin Maalouf * Death in Venice by Thomas Mann * The Silent Duchess by Dacia Maraini * A Heart So White by Javier Marias * Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez * Of Human Bondage by Somerset Maugham * So Long, See you Tomorrow by William Maxwell * The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers * Atonement by Ian McEwan * The Child in Time by Ian McEwan * The Egoist by George Meredith * Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller * Patience and Sarah by Isabel Miller * Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell * The Pursuit of Love by Nancy Mitford * Love in a Cold Climate by Nancy Mitford * Arturo's Island by Elsa Morante * Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami * Lolita, or the Confessions of a White Widowed Male by Vladimir Nabokov * The Painter of Signs by RK Narayan * Delta of Venus by Anais Nin * All Souls Day by Cees Nooteboom * The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje * Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak * Manon Lescaut by Abbe Prevost * Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys * Maurice Guest by Henry Handel Richardson * Pamela by Samuel Richardson * Clarissa by Samuel Richardson * Gilead by Marilynne Robinson * Bonjour Tristesse by Francoise Sagan * Ali and Nino by Kurban Said * Light Years by James Salter * A Sport and a Passtime by James Salter * The Reader by Benhardq Schlink * The Reluctant Orphan by Aara Seale * Love Story by Eric Segal * Enemies, a Love Story by Isaac Bashevis Singer * At Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept by Elizabeth Smart * I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith * The Map of Love by Ahdaf Soueif * Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann * Waterland by Graham Swift * Diary of a Mad Old Man by Junichiro Tanizaki * Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy * Music and Silence by Rose Tremain * First Love by Ivan Turgenev * Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler * The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler * The Night Watch by Sarah Waters * The Graduate by Charles Webb * The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton * The Passion by Jeanette Winterson * East Lynne by Ellen Wood * Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates Science fiction and fantasy * *The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams * Non-Stop by Brian W Aldiss * Foundation by Isaac Asimov * The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood * The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood * In the Country of Last Things by Paul Auster * The Drowned World by JG Ballard * Crash by JG Ballard * Millennium People by JG Ballard * The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks * Consider Phlebas by Iain M Banks * Weaveworld by Clive Barker * Darkmans by Nicola Barker * The Time Ships by Stephen Baxter * Darwin's Radio by Greg Bear * Vathek by William Beckford * The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester * *Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury * Lost Souls by Poppy Z Brite * Wieland by Charles Brockden Brown * Rogue Moon by Algis Budrys * The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov * The Coming Race by EGEL Bulwer-Lytton * A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess-Don't understand how the American version is "happier". It's so much creepier it makes me shudder! * The End of the World News by Anthony Burgess * A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs * Naked Lunch by William Burroughs * Kindred by Octavia Butler * Erewhon by Samuel Butler * The Baron in the Trees by Italo Calvino * The Influence by Ramsey Campbell * *Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll * *Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There by Lewis Carroll * Nights at the Circus by Angela Carter * The Passion of New Eve by Angela Carter * The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon * The Man who was Thursday by GK Chesterton * Childhood's End by Arthur C Clarke * Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke * Hello Summer, Goodbye by Michael G Coney * Girlfriend in a Coma by Douglas Coupland * House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski * Pig Tales by Marie Darrieussecq * The Einstein Intersection by Samuel R Delaney * Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K Dick * The Man in the High Castle by Philip K Dick * Camp Concentration by Thomas M Disch * Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco-This man writes the way I think. It's scary. Must get the rest of him. * Under the Skin by Michel Faber * The Magus by John Fowles * American Gods by Neil Gaiman * Red Shift by Alan Garner * Neuromancer by William Gibson * Herland by Charlotte Perkins Gilman * Lord of the Flies by William Golding * The Forever War by Joe Haldeman * Light by M John Harrison * The House of the Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne * Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A Heinlein * Dune by Frank L Herbert * The Glass Bead Game by Herman Hesse * Riddley Walker by Russell Hoban * The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner by James Hogg * Atomised by Michel Houellebecq * *Brave New World by Aldous Huxley * The Unconsoled by Kazuo Ishiguro * The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson * The Turn of the Screw by Henry James * Children of Men by PD James * After London; or, Wild England by Richard Jefferies * Bold as Love by Gwyneth Jones * The Trial by Franz Kafka * Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes * The Shining by Stephen King * The Victorian Chaise-longue by Marghanita Laski * Uncle Silas by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu * The Earthsea Series by Ursula Le Guin * The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin * Solaris by Stanislaw Lem * Memoirs of a Survivor by Doris Lessing * *Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis * The Monk by Matthew Lewis * A Voyage to Arcturus by David Lindsay * The Night Sessions by Ken Macleod * Beyond Black by Hilary Mantel * Only Forward by Michael Marshall Smith * I Am Legend by Richard Matheson * Melmoth the Wanderer by Charles Maturin * The Butcher Boy by Patrick McCabe * The Road by Cormac McCarthy * Ascent by Jed Mercurio * The Scar by China Mieville * Ingenious Pain by Andrew Miller * A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M Miller Jr * Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell * Mother London by Michael Moorcock * News from Nowhere by William Morris * Beloved by Toni Morrison * The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami * Ada or Ardor by Vladimir Nabokov * The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger * Ringworld by Larry Niven * Vurt by Jeff Noon * The Third Policeman by Flann O'Brien * The Famished Road by Ben Okri * Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell * Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk * Nightmare Abbey by Thomas Love Peacock * Titus Groan by Mervyn Peake * The Space Merchants by Frederik Pohl and CM Kornbluth * A Glastonbury Romance by John Cowper Powys * *The Discworld Series by Terry Pratchett * The Prestige by Christopher Priest * *His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman -Can never quite make it work in my head, but I'm drawn to it. Wants. * Gargantua and Pantagruel by Francois Rabelais * The Mysteries of Udolpho by Ann Radcliffe * Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds * The Years of Rice and Salt by Kim Stanley Robinson * *Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by JK Rowling * Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie * The Female Man by Joanna Russ * Air by Geoff Ryman * *The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery-In both French and English, and it's great stuff! You should try it. * Blindness by Jose Saramago * How the Dead Live by Will Self * Frankenstein by Mary Shelley * Hyperion by Dan Simmons * Star Maker by Olaf Stapledon * Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson * The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson * Dracula by Bram Stoker -Nowhere near as exciting as I'd anticipated. Not in favor of the diary/letter/journal format, either. * The Insult by Rupert Thomson * *The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien * *The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien -Just couldn't stay away from Sam/Frodo/Gollum long enough to read the other guys in the last book. Mostly read it!! * A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain-Like the character studies, not a fan of finding tanks in my beloved ARthurian period. * Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut * The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole * Institute Benjamenta by Robert Walser * Lolly Willowes by Sylvia Townsend Warner * Affinity by Sarah Waters * The Time Machine by HG Wells * The War of the Worlds by HG Wells * The Sword in the Stone by TH White * The Old Men at the Zoo by Angus Wilson * The Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe * Orlando by Virginia Woolf * Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham * The Midwich Cuckoos by John Wyndham * We by Yevgeny Zamyatin State of the nation (?) * Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe * Anthills of the Savannah by Chinua Achebe * London Fields by Martin Amis * Untouchable by Mulk Raj Anand * Go Tell it on the Mountain by James Baldwin * La Comedie Humaine by Honore de Balzac * They Were Counted by Miklos Banffy * A Kind of Loving by Stan Barstow * Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe * Oroonoko, or The Royal Slave by Aphra Behn * Clayhanger by Arnold Bennett * The Last September by Elizabeth Bowen * Room at the Top by John Braine * A Dry White Season by Andre Brink * Shirley by Charlotte Bronte * Earthly Powers by Anthony Burgess * The Virgin in the Garden by AS Byatt * Tobacco Road by Erskine Caldwell * The Plague by Albert Camus * The Kingdom of this World by Alejo Carpentier * What a Carve Up! by Jonathan Coe * Disgrace by JM Coetzee * Waiting for the Barbarians by JM Coeztee * Microserfs by Douglas Coupland * Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe * Underworld by Don DeLillo * White Noise by Don DeLillo ** A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens * Bleak House by Charles Dickens * Dombey and Son by Charles Dickens * Hard Times by Charles Dickens-I'm not in favor. * Little Dorritt by Charles Dickens * Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens * Play It As It Lays by Joan Didion * Sybil or The Two Nations by Benjamin Disraeli * Berlin Alexanderplatz by Alfred Döblin * The Book of Daniel by EL Doctorow * Notes from the Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky * The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky * USA by John Dos Passos * Sister Carrie by Theodor Dreiser * Castle Rackrent by Maria Edgeworth * Middlemarch by George Eliot * Silas Marner by George Eliot * The Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison * Sentimental Education by Gustave Flaubert * Effi Briest by Theodore Fontane * Independence Day by Richard Ford * A Passage to India by EM Forster * The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen * The Recognitions by William Gaddis * Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell * North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell * The Counterfeiters by Andre Gide * The Odd Women by George Gissing * New Grub Street by George Gissing * July's People by Nadine Gordimer * Mother by Maxim Gorky * Lanark by Alastair Gray * Love on the Dole by Walter Greenwood * The Mayor of Casterbridge by Thomas Hardy * A Kestrel for a Knave by Barry Hines * The Line of Beauty by Alan Hollinghurst * South Riding by Winifred Holtby * Les Miserables by Victor Hugo * Goodbye to Berlin by Christopher Isherwood * Chronicle in Stone by Ismael Kadare * How Late it Was, How Late by James Kelman * The Leopard by Giuseppi di Lampedusa * A Girl in Winter by Philip Larkin * Passing by Nella Larsen * The Grass is Singing by Doris Lessing * Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis * Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis * Main Street by Sinclair Lewis * Absolute Beginners by Colin MacInnes * The Group by Mary McCarthy * Amongst Women by John McGahern * The Posthumous Memoirs of Bras Cubas by Joaquim Maria Machado de Assis * Of Love & Hunger by Julian Maclaren-Ross * Remembering Babylon by David Malouf * The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann * The Betrothed by Alessandro Manzoni * Bel-Ami by Guy de Maupassant * A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry * The Time of Indifference by Alberto Moravia * A Bend in the River by VS Naipaul * McTeague by Frank Norris * Personality by Andrew O'Hagan * Animal Farm by George Orwell-Mom gave it to me at like nine. Not fun. * The Ragazzi Pier by Paolo Pasolini * Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton * The Moon and the Bonfire by Cesare Pavese * GB84 by David Peace * Headlong Hall by Thomas Love Peacock * Afternoon Men by Anthony Powell * Vineland by Thomas Pynchon * The Radetzky March by Joseph Roth * American Pastoral by Philip Roth * The Human Stain by Philip Roth * Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie * Shame by Salman Rushdie * To Each his Own by Leonardo Sciascia * Staying On by Paul Scott * Last Exit to Brooklyn by Hubert Selby Jr * The Lonely Londoners by Samuel Selvon * God's Bit of Wood by Ousmane Sembene * The Case of Comrade Tulayev by Victor Serge * Richshaw Boy by Lao She * Saturday Night and Sunday Morning by Alan Sillitoe * The Jungle by Upton Sinclair * Novel on Yellow Paper by Stevie Smith * White Teeth by Zadie Smith * One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovtich by Alexandr Solzhenitsyn * The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck -Hate STeinbeck! Rawr! * The Red and the Black by Stendhal * This Sporting Life by David Storey * The Red Room by August Stringberg * The Home and the World by Rabindranath Tagore * Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray-Just couldn't finish it, the Jonathan Rhys-Meyers film's better for you. * The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists by Robert Tressell * The Last Chronicle of Barset by Anthony Trollope * The Way We Live Now by Anthony Trollope * The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain * Couples by John Updike * Z by Vassilis Vassilikos * Billy Liar by Keith Waterhouse * Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh * The Day of the Locust by Nathanael West * The Return of the Soldier by Rebecca West * The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton * The Bonfire of the Vanities by Tom Wolfe * Germinal by Emile Zola * La Bete Humaine by Emile Zola War and travel * Silver Stallion by Junghyo Ahn * Death of a Hero by Richard Aldington * Master Georgie by Beryl Bainbridge * Darkness Falls from the Air by Nigel Balchin * Empire of the Sun by JG Ballard * Regeneration by Pat Barker * A Long Long Way by Sebastian Barry * Fair Stood the Wind for France by HE Bates * Carrie's War by Nina Bawden * The Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolano * The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles * An Ice-Cream War by William Boyd * When the Wind Blows by Raymond Briggs * Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino * Auto-da-Fe by Elias Canetti * One of Ours by Willa Cather * Journey to the End of the Night by Louis-Ferdinand Celine * Monkey by Wu Ch'eng-en * Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad * Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad * Nostromo by Joseph Conrad * Sharpe's Eagle by Bernard Cornwell * The History of Pompey the Little by Francis Coventry * The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane * Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe * Bomber by Len Deighton * Deliverance by James Dickey * Three Soldiers by John Dos Passos * South Wind by Norman Douglas * *The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas * *Justine by Lawrence Durrell-Very strange book that I must read again sometime. Requires a lot of brainpower, though * The Bamboo Bed by William Eastlake * The Siege of Krishnapur by JG Farrell * Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks * Parade's End by Ford Madox Ford * The African Queen by CS Forester * The Ship by CS Forester * Flashman by George MacDonald Fraser * Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier * The Beach by Alex Garland * To The Ends of the Earth trilogy by William Golding * Asterix the Gaul by Rene Goscinny * The Tin Drum by Gunter Grass * Count Belisarius by Robert Graves * Life and Fate by Vassily Grossman * De Niro's Game by Rawi Hage * King Solomon's Mines by H Rider Haggard * She: A History of Adventure by H Rider Haggard * The Slaves of Solitude by Patrick Hamilton * Covenant with Death by John Harris * Enigma by Robert Harris * The Good Soldier Svejk by Jaroslav Hasek * For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway No Hiroshima by John Hersey? What? * The Prisoner of Zenda by Anthony Hope * The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini * A High Wind in Jamaica by Richard Hughes * Rasselas by Samuel Johnson * From Here to Eternity by James Jones * Andersonville by MacKinlay Kantor * Confederates by Thomas Keneally * Schindler's Ark by Thomas Keneally * Day by AL Kennedy * On the Road by Jack Kerouac-What is the big deal? * Darkness at Noon by Arthur Koestler * The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kosinski * If Not Now, When? by Primo Levi * *The Call of the Wild by Jack London-part of dog book phase, general blur. * The Guns of Navarone by Alistair MacLean * All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy * Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy * The Mark of Zorro by Johnston McCulley * Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurty * The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer * La Condition Humaine by Andre Malraux * Fortunes of War by Olivia Manning * One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez * The Children of the New Forest by Frederick Marryat * Moby-Dick or, The Whale by Herman Melville -Have discovered the true use of this book: it is great for whacking people over the heads with. Also, it's what you'll feel like doing when reading it. * Tales of the South Pacific by James Michener * The Cruel Sea by Nicholas Monsarrat * History by Elsa Morante * Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky * The Sorrow of War by Bao Ninh * Master and Commander by Patrick O'Brian * The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien * The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Emmuska Orczy-Eh, I expected more actual drama and less agonized hyperventilating. * Burmese Days by George Orwell * Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig * The Valley of Bones by Anthony Powell * The Soldier's Art by Anthony Powell * The Military Philosophers by Anthony Powell * Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon * The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen by Rudolp Erich Raspe * All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque * The Crab with the Golden Claws by Georges Remi Herge * Tintin in Tibet by Georges Remi Herge * The Castafiore Emerald by Georges Remi Herge * The Devil to Pay in the Backlands by Joao Guimaraes Rosa * *Sacaramouche by Rafael Sabatini-Everything Sabatini is fine by me, but Scaramouche is by far my favorite. It'll make you laugh. * *Captain Blood by Rafael Sabatini * Everything is Illuminated by Jonathon Safran Foer * The Hunters by James Salter * *Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott-Is great stuff, though a little wordy. One of the few appearances of Robin Hood in different literature where he's still a good guy. * The Rings of Saturn by WG Sebald * Austerlitz by WG Sebald * *Black Beauty by Anna Sewell-As part of my omg, horses rock! phase * The Young Lions by Irwin Shaw * A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute * Maus by Art Spiegelman * The Charterhouse of Parma by Stendhal * Cryptonomicon by Neil Stephenson * A Sentimental Journey by Lawrence Sterne * Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson * Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson * A Flag for Sunrise by Robert Stone * Sophie's Choice by William Styron * Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift * War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy * *The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain * Around the World in Eighty Days by Jules Verne-As a kid, no memory of opinions. * A Journey to the Centre of the Earth by Jules Verne * Williwaw by Gore Vidal * *Candide by Voltaire-It's hilarious! Totally recommend it. * Slaughter-House Five by Kurt Vonnegut * Put Out More Flags by Evelyn Waugh * Men at Arms by Evelyn Waugh * The Island of Dr Moreau by HG Wells * The Machine-Gunners by Robert Westall * Voss by Patrick White * The Virginian by Owen Wister * The Caine Mutiny by Herman Wouk * The Debacle by Emile Zola 2 Oh, yeah. Rights| You're s'posed to stroke it!

memes, indeed [08 Aug 2008|01:16am] Pick a fandom, and I'll tell you which character(s) I would 1. bake cupcakes for: 2. trust with the keys to my car: 3. put thumbtacks on their chair: 4. have a crush on: 5. pack up and leave if they moved next door: 6. vote for President: 7. pick as my partner in a buddy movie: 8. pair up: 9. vote off the island and into the volcano: 10. wheedle into fixing my MP3 player: You're s'posed to stroke it!

[19 Jun 2008|04:15pm] [ mood | calm ] If I were [blank], I would be... a stone: Marble a tree: a weeping willow a bird: An owl a machine: A printing press a tool: A dagger a flower/plant: A bleeding heart. The blossoms go down instead of up. a kind of weather: A thunderstorm. Not necessarily the kind that freaks your shit out, but the kind where you like to sit on the porch and watch the lightning dance across the sky while your feet dangle in the rain. a mythical creature: A dryad a musical instrument: A bagpipe-distinct, Celtic, and warlike an animal: A leopard a color: deep, dark scarlet-like theater curtains an emotion: Enthralled a vegetable: tomato a sound: A splash an Element: Fire! a car: A silver mustang a song: Extraordinary Machine by Fiona Apple. to trade places with another person: I'd trade with someone who has the means to travel the world, and then I'd do exactly that, if it were circumstances. If it were minds I'd like to see inside Umberto Eco's. If it were bodies, I'd trade with the girl from Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon, etc. a movie: Into the Woods a food: gelatto a place: The Trevi Fountain a material: rayon, like wraparound pants. a taste: worcester sauce a religion: Zoarastrian an object: The Pantheon a word: Camelot a body part: Eyes a facial expression: A raised eyebrow-halfsmile/smirk a subject in school: History. I am all about the questions. a cartoon: Hobbes a shape: A trapezoid a number: 99 a month: October a day of the week: Saturday a time of day: When school/work ends a direction: Up a piece of furniture: A lamp a sin: Pride a historical figure: Eleanor of Aquitaine a liquid: Fountain water a method of death: Guillotine a planet: Pluto a scent: old books a sea animal: mermaid You're s'posed to stroke it!

[06 Feb 2008|04:49pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | don't ask me why-billy joel ] Bwaha! Freeedom! Charge, my clock hands! Charge forward to your own obscurity via loss of watchers. *nods* Precisably. You're s'posed to stroke it!

Thar be spoilers here! Am officially spoiling. Warning over. [27 Jul 2007|02:33am] [ mood | satisfied ] [ music | Let's call the whole thing off-Ella and Louis ] The Grand List of Wheresmytower on the Harry of Potter: 1. People chandeliers are totally cool. Why was there not mention of there being muggle ones everywhere during the Dark Lord's previous reign? If he can't even do that, what sort of style is he supposed to be having, anyway? 2. Okay-there needs to be fic where the snake Harry set free from the zoo was actually Nagini's lover/best friend/sibling, and then this jerk comes back fromt eh dead or whatever, and all of a sudden Nagini's acting all strange and mean and goes gallivanting off, and he's v.v. sad. And then Fawkes shows up works some sort of magicallick to make it all somehow be okay. There was no Fawkes. Grr. 3. The makeup artist is so totally going to punch J.K.R. for making her make a hole in his fucking head without even blood to help cover the fake part for long. 4. Mad Eye's death did actually touch me. CONSTANT VIGILANCE is no more! Obviously, why everyone apparently completely forgot about Mundungus Fletcher as an Order member and what happened there and why he wouldn't show up to the final battle or how he became an Order member int he first place again, including the author. 5. Okay-I know Viktor's Grindelwald symbol thing was supposed to be a clue, but dude. If it was that big of a deal, we would know. So either Grindelwald wasn't really that much of a fiasco, in which case Dumbledore really played his cards well and for ambition way after his supposed renunciation of it, or he at least didn't mean it to be his symbol. *see-saw hands* 6. Okay-Rita Skeeter was smart enough to get all that out of Bathilda, but she couldn't figure out how to animagus-herself into the headmaster's office to eavesdrop on the portraits? 7. What's up with the portrait stuff, anyway? I mean-if they're lifelike enough to remember goals and deliver orders, rather than just be messenger-boys, or maintain sentiments-does it even matter that Dumbledore's dead? I mean, granted he can't do magic anymore-but his main forte was exposition, and he totally had that going on in the portrait of Hogwarts. No need to go to the afterlife for that. 8. I hope we get that fairy tale book. 9. Right, is it just me or is this whole follow-your-instincts thing exactly what booke 5 taught that Harry should definitely not do without thinking it through first? 10. Voldie's soul is pretty dumb, if it thinks showing a H/Hr embrace will make Ron want to stab it....less??? 11. Dumbledore invented a Harry-Potter-homing-device? Cause, uh...that is a little bit of inappropriate attention. Bet he used it a lot while keeping himself invisible at school. Hence-the knowing what to believe and convenient showings. At last all is revealed, and Rita Skeeter=spot on that time. Says I. 12. The notoriously idiotic Crabbe is supposed to have been able to cast a spell so powerful and difficult to control that it kills horcruxes, and himself. And he's supposed to have learned it fromt he obviously moronic Carrows. o.O Huh. Interesting, that. 13. Speaking of interesting, remember that time that Voldemort was supposed to have killed a bunch of people at Malfoy Manor for letting Harry get away? The one where we knew Bellatrix and Lucius would live because they were pushing people out of the way? People who Harry then saw Voldie kill? Anyone? Right, okay-so later we see Draco, Narcissa, Fenrir Greyback...um. Who else really was there? I mean-Wormtail's already gone. You're seriously telling me the other snatchers came out of obscurity to face Voldie? Uh-huh. Right. 14. And speaking of killing Fenrir Greyback, what the hell happened there? Trelawney cracked his head with a crystal ball, yet he shows up in the forest with Voldie. Can werewolves somehow fuse bones back together by morphing, since their bones are changing so much anyway the other form won't recognize the break and it'll heal? Or what? Cause if so, that'd be kickass awesome. 15. Also, let me get this straight. Cho, the girl Harry'd been crushing on for over a year supports a wayward friend after her error, and is suddenly worthless trash. Ron, his best friend of 7 years gets upset by wearing the One Ring and going without food, and he refuses to even speak his name. Hermione is being tortured and in danger of being murdered, and he's willing ot wait till Dobby rescues other folks before trying to rescue her. It may have made more sense that way, but it would also have made more sense to go after just the tiara before getting away from the fiendfyre. Yet, he not only goes for Draco as well, he goes for Draco first. Before the horcrux, before what made sense, before seeing his friends (the one's he's always trying not to let endanger themselves for him) safe, in fact putting htem in even more danger since they need to help him get Draco. Draco, who brought about the invasion of Hogwarts, Dumbledore's demise (as he thought), and tried to hand him over to Voldie, he forgives enough to save. Twice, even. Hah. Ginny, who-what-huh? Boy's gay, J.K. Also, taken. 16. I hope Neville and his Gran get a statue. 17. Okay, so I know the whole look-at-Snape-while-dying thing's supposed to be all about Lily's eyes, according to J.K. Also, I know a lot of people want him to have become attached to Harry. And I'm going to have to disagree with all y'all. It wasn't about seeing anything, he wanted Harry to see him, to fucking watch him, as he dies without getting any vindication, or seeing the outcome, or getting to fight back, because he knows that Harry has to do exactly the same thing. He's saying-this is what it looks like, and it's not pretty, but I'm doing it, and you need to do it, too, so get used to the idea. And if you need help making yourself do it, have a guilt trip from your mom and me, because we've both been there and we did it for reasons, so just get yourself a reason too, so you can get the fuck dying. 18. Snape may have been a good guy, but he was still just as manipulative a bastard as Dumbledore, and I love him for owning is far more than Albus ever did. 19. Aberforth is so totally the apex of grouchy-old-men. I can just see him during the reign of dementors around Hogwarts in book 3. One would start roaming loose, and the wizarding community would defend itself (as it apparently can), he'd be trying to have a relaxing nap or read a book, and then have to abandon the pursuit to yell out the window that they needed to keep their bloody patronuses off of his lawn, it's way too bright, and it's his fucking property-so it would simply have to stop even if he needed to get out there and do some goatly ass-kicking himself-now would everyone and their patronuses please vacate the premises! 20. Avery laughed, gloating over the body of his latest opponent, Lavender Brown. He loved fighting, but especially with girls. They looked so pretty after they fell, so vulnerable. He loved the rush of power it gave him just to look at her. He could feel his own pure blood rushing through his veins, could feel exactly how much stronger he was, in every sense. That rush was probably what caused him to take so long to decipher the sounds suddenly coming towards him from the corridor. "F. L. HEARTS ALIIIIICE!" screamed ferociously through the din. Avery squinted around in the halflight, attempting to make sense of what he'd heard. The following calls of "THIS SUCKS!" and "M. M. WAS HEEEEEEEEERE!" seemed to surround him. Avery raised his wand, ready to begin shooting curses off randomly at the cacophony- The death eater's scream went entirely unheard over the continually blaring banalities of his attackers. His knees had been crushed as he was brought down, and his chest and face were currently being bashed. He tried a Protego shield charm, and was relieved when the knocks ceased for a few moments. Sitting up, he had time only to observe, none to analyze. Then he heard a female voice shouting the counter charm, and aimed his wand at the enemy closest to his head. "Crucio!" The desk instantly began writhing itself into pieces, splinters flew into his hair, over his cloak. The desk next to it, screaming at amazingly high decibel levels that Professor Binns was boring, seized hold of a chair leg and swung it. It narrowly missed breaking his nose, but succeeded in snapping his wand. Avery simply could not believe it. He had been disarmed by desks. Never in his worst nightmares had it occured to him that the great pureblood wizard could be defeated by something that used graffiti as a war cry. The desks willingly abandoned their prey, once the death eater lay unconscous in his magical chains. Noisily, they stampeded off toward their next battle, leaving their commander to follow. Smiling, McGonagall watched as her students them by their war cries and took advantage of the distraction it created, while death eaters repeatedly became easy victims due to their confusion. She really must remember to allow the indestuctible-ink-graffiting pens of WWW next year. 20. You all know what my favorite part was now, don't you? Annnnd, that's it, for the present. You're s'posed to stroke it!

NINJAS [14 Jul 2007|12:56am] [ mood | restless ] There is a TINY NINJA THEATER that does productions with ninja action figures projected onto a screen. And they do Shakespeare! Also, there are people doing Shakespeare COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY NUDE! ALL THE TIME! Also in nearly-dead languages, but I'm not sure about those really honestly truly qualifying as Shakespeare. Also-Masterpiece Theater is revamping using Jane Austen as their new 'spearhead for the campaign'! There will be new J.A. productions of almost everything! It will be brilliant! Why are there so many new and exciting things in theater coming up that I can take no part in? Harrumph. January, though-must to watch PBS. *nods* Also, Harry Potter-after defeating the Dark Lord, he totally disappears into the muggle world with long hair, a guitar, and loads of explosive angst, where his hit songs full of references to his experiences in the Wizarding World are believed to be mainly about drugs, yes? And Avada Kedavra will become the new slang term for a blowjob. You're s'posed to stroke it!

[01 Mar 2007|01:46pm] HUZZAH! SNOW DAY! Finally, I have a weekend. On the other hand, I cannae go out tonight. But on the other toe, I did go out last night. So, all-in-all, this is totally acceptable liek-whoa. *nod* Also-so this tv show called Tudors coming out? Will be at once and at the same time SO WRONG, and yet SO, SO AWESOME. I really do like the idea of Jonathan Rhys-Meyers as Henry VIII now that I've seen some footage. He does totally have that completely-egocentric-without-even-trying air, which is necessary. Plus, there's been so much done with the Tudors that I'm almost completely hardened to the errors/goofs/holy fuckups done to their story, and that's going to be a really nice thing to have this year. Who's with me?? You're s'posed to stroke it!

[26 Feb 2007|10:29pm] [ mood | content ] Know what would be really awesome? If there was costume design software about that had the different fabrics and color swatches and all that jazz laid out, and you could pick that and then shape it yourself onto a virtual model, and design things while actually seeing them. I need this to happen, and I need it to be free. There is one thing the Oscars really does for me, and that is to get me back into the mood of clothes designing. I stayed up too late last night because I had to sketch my Oscars-style red dress. It's awesome, I tell you. If I had my dream software, I would totally show you. Also, I would probably have done like 3 more by now, but that's not the point. Also not the point, but interesting, is that this year the Oscars apparently gave me dreams involving Judi Dench. And she was really pretty freaky, and there was something with roses, and somehow she needed to get me out of China and maybe I shouldn't watch Casablanca so close to As Time Goes By again Herrunh. In other news-damn, The Cheesecake Factory's expensive. Verreh verreh good, but expensive. *contented and most fullish sigh* Today was a Cinderella day at work, and then I even was so good as to do my at-home domesticy cleaning, so I deserved it. *nods* Also-the new shirt I wore? Was totally hot. I'm in favor of this development. A propos of nothing-literally, in my head as this was happening even, I've decided on a parody that needs to happen. And that parody is that a "It's a Wonderful Life" type film needs to happen wherein the main character is a very passionate girl who feels guilty about her sexual urges and is therefore still a virgin, in spite of feeling things so strongly. Then her angel comes-only it's the angel of PORN-and shows her what life would be like if she quit cutting herself down, and just embraced being a slut, and started enjoying her physical being, and all that. (Here I'm imagining Hermione as the girl and possibly Lockhart who'd found his true calling as the angel of PORN.) And what's different is that Ron's totally confident and kickass, and doesn't have the huge omg-pay attention to me-I'm not just the youngest brother! complex, and Harry is much more relaxed and able to actually focus on saving the world and shit, and due to threesomes he and Draco are coming to accept the fact that they are madly in lust love with eachother, and Snape doesn't take revenge on measley students anymore, and saves his wrath for the truly deserving incidents, and Ginny's not running around like a desperate wench to "prove" that she's over Harry, and, like, eventually the fact that she'd created so many happy memories for her friends allows them to withstand the final onslaught of dementors just long enough to get throught to defeating Voldemort or something. Anyway, it's hedonism=saving the world, or at least making it happier. So uh...yeah. And finally, the Quote of the day: "There's a fine line between 'girly' and 'getting some'." Hah! It's funny because it's true. 1 Oh, yeah. Right| You're s'posed to stroke it!

The Buying of Things! [10 Feb 2007|06:57pm] [ music | Love Won't Let me Wait-Geoff Gascoyne ] I've been shopping again! Huzzah! The other day my older sister called to say that Wal-mart was having such an awesome sale that she'd bought me a dress from it. So that day after work I stopped by her house to see her clothes and this dress (and eat waffles for dinner, and borrow a shirt, apparently), and then went right on to shop until midnight! It was great good fun! And I spent a lot of money, but I got a lot of things for it, and also a shrug for my mother in a pay-it-forward sort of style. And then dad gave me a 25% off coupon for Borders dvds, so I got the 5th and 7th seasons of As Time Goes By, and now am missing only two. *dork glow of love* That show makes me happy. In niecely news, Madelaine is very good at scolding the dogs with me when I'm mad at them, and making me feel better about my food being eaten. Nawwww. Also, the older niece Emily has sold literally about 1000 boxes of girl scout cookies. *blinks* Vheh? I don't even understand that. But, well, right on for the rising politician. In other news, the novel is progressing. Good thing, that. It kindof really needs to if I'm going to finish it by the time I'm 30. *buckles in for the ride* But I'm happy with it. 1 Oh, yeah. Right| You're s'posed to stroke it!

[27 Jan 2007|10:40pm] [ mood | exhausted ] 1. Yul Brynner wrote a cookbook! A COOKBOOK!!! Why does no one have it? 2. Also-he had nude pictures taken! In,like, the 50s! I am agog at this development. 3. One can simply lift up firedoors. Surely, this is wrong? o.O 4. I think Courtney's right. My body does seem to be telling me to wake up when I go to bed at night, and to sleep through the day. 5. When was the last time one of you had your boss tell you that you should come in at one in the afternoon. Unless you wanted to come in at nine. It's up to you? 6. Yes, I know the grammar up there was atrocious. Leave me alone-I've had the sleep troubles. 7. As far as meming goes, I didn't want to paste results, but I know 88% of the Bible, am 24% girly, and forgot the other meme that y'all were doing. 8. I have finished Baudolino! Twas wonderful. 9. There are very few proper eunich jokes in this world, but that book had quite a few. I approve. *nods* 10. So. I remember there was this story about a man who was looking for the hermit who lived on top of a pillar, and there used to be a whole colony of this type of hermits, but there was only one guy left, so the searcher kept climbing different pillars looking for him, but the hermit kept moving around, and finally he got him to explain how he'd become so pure/spiritual/similar that he could move through the air and was just trying to avoid him by switching pillars. And then they talked about stuff and it was all very funny, but the point is-I don't remember what book this is from. This sound familar to anyone?? 11. Courtney and I are having an Anne of Green Gables watching marathon-held in sections. I'd forgotten things. 12. It's been busy, and I'm very tired. Wherefore am I still awake? 1 Oh, yeah. Right| You're s'posed to stroke it!

Eragon: defeater of the completely inconsistent shade and his cartoon mouth [19 Jan 2007|11:14pm] Dude. It has been seen, man. *blinks* And I chortle, I really do. I don't know what everyone else was thinking in that theater, but they were not laughing anywhere near as often as they should've been. And now we have spoilers: 1. My impression that John Malkovich was always cool, by default if nothing else, was ever so cruelly dashed tonight. Of course, if I'd been asked to say those lines I would've gone 'Well, fuck that-this is obviously not really an acting bit, now is it?' as well. Hell, that was probably John Malkovich sleepacting. And really, why not? 2. Okay, I realize now that everyone else brought it up that it was completely wrong, but as someone who had entirely forgotten about Rorin's existence, having the sudden appearance of an almost identical boy start fighting/grappling with the first one amidst much rejoicing was one of the most awesome things in this movie. Also, he looked kinda like a mini version of Heath Ledger up close. (Not to mention that they were cousins. Totally cousins. In conclusion-cousins.) 3. Okay. I admit that the whole Brom characterization was bewildering from the start. However, I'm a total sucker for Jeremy Irons, and the whole, "Oh, I just hung up the birds to be sure no one tripped on them. Careful of the tiny bones. Wouldn't want you to CHOKE!" bit won me over. (Though I was rather distracted during the big funeral scene by the fact that now we have the answer to how the dwarves kept Snow White fresh and fair for years in a glass coffin until her slowpoke prince showed up. There should totally be dragons. Not these ones, though-they're bad actors.) -3a) Though I was quite bothered by the inconsistency of their character. If you're going to be the type who mocks the king when the soldiers are 10 feet from you, there's no reason to get in a paranoid fit when some kid comes into your house. 4. See, it was totally obvious to me that the girl was an elf-if only because she was speaking a weird, magical language and later Brom explains that magical words are elven. Also, the costume designer was really, really trying to tip us off on that what with the feathers and all. But, yeah. I kept fearing the big kiss trick, and just generally being curious as to what the fuck she was about. o.O 5. Speaking of the costumes, I'm undecided. Cause on the one hand, I love the fact that they took all those chances, and some of them I really liked. But on the other hand-some things were just too distractingly odd for me to approve of. Like why the hell Aria's fighting gear featured a skirt that flew up exposing her entire unarmoured thigh at one point. (Though this type of thing might not have been so distracting, had there been actual acting going on, of course.) 6. Let's talk Murtagh. He's um...vaguely reminiscent of Taunto in the Lone Ranger or a similar servant type here? WHY? Also-I like how he's all, Varden? Cool! Been there before, know the way, come along. And it's not until after he's inside that he randomly gets the weird look on his face, and even then he's all, "What? Didn't you know I hated my daddy? I thought the grapevine was more efficient than that. After all, they knew there was a new dragonrider before he'd actually, technically, even been carried by the dragon, apparently." I uh...wish he'd been there more? He's still sinking in. 7. I'd been looking forward to seeing actually scary bad guys that were also furry. Didn't happen. 8. That Shade guy? Terrible organizational skills. I mean, if you can call fire and beasty magic carpet clouds of doom and brainburning whatevers and poison from your fingernail dirt, wouldn't you go after the 17-year-old yourself? Particularly when your troops of wannabe urukhai failed a couple times? I mean...was the magic carpet beasty hibernating, and it just took awhile to wake him up? Also, if that's what you can do with fingernail dirt, just think of what he could do with the filth on the back of his neck if he ever cut his hair. It'd be like the atom bomb, only more colorful. 9. It would've been a better movie if they'd simply cut out all the thought-conversations between Eragon and Sapphira. I feel that neither side had anything really valuable, or even non-annoying really, to contribute. They should've just looked at eachother silently, and let Jeremy Irons tell them not to even think about it-they're not taking anyone on unless they have to. 10. The ending was really lame. Like, for this movie, even. I don't even get it. eta: Oh! I almost forgot 2 of my favorite things! First-the squishingly fond look Eragon casts his uncle for no reason before he goes out hunting. How blatant can you get "HE LOVES HIM,OK? EVEN THOUGH IN TEN MINUTES YOU WON'T KNOW HIS HAIR COLOR ANYMORE". And thing the second-the recruiting soldier saying, "Every village must do its share! REJOICE! For your sons will be heros!" as if he honestly has no idea whether he's really supposed to be that mean, or just doesn't get why having hero sons wouldn't be enough for anyone, or if he's just spouting some policy line they've been given in case anyone protests. I mean, the soldiers only ever seem interested in food, and are bewildered about what to do with the obviously rebellious guy. I'd buy the policy thing. You're s'posed to stroke it!

no butter in hell [15 Jan 2007|12:00am] [ music | The Perfect Lovesong-the Divine Comedy ] Cold Comfort Farm craving duly satisfied. With personal size popcorn and peppermint hot chocolate. *nod* Yup. In other news-the Second Season of Rome has arrived! Bwahaha!! Why is it on Sundays, I wonder? o.O Really. Perhaps they're catering to all the agog history teachers on the principle that whereas weeknights might require grading, at least the teachers can get Sunday night free? Or summat? Also, I seem to have the Dread Movie Star Disease (as it is known in my family). I'll be going along functioning fine, and then for no apparent reason I'll get all crumply and collapsey and have, in fact, begun crying from sheer exhaustion that came out of nowhere like pirates in a comedy. I can't even. Um. At least I have no papers? And perhaps today will be a snow day? Yes? Oh, well. I can at least be fairly sure it won't end in my death to conveniently remove some barrier to a romance or allow another character to take over the finances/realm. Fairly sure. If there's something along those veins I should know, tell me. 1 Oh, yeah. Right| You're s'posed to stroke it!

Right. [13 Jan 2007|01:35am] [ mood | apathetic ] It's been time to be mildly productive recently, and now there are results. Those results being: -I've established that I'm the only person ever to have seen the character of "Prester John" in a movie -The rubber/plastic Cogsworth figure on my bookshelf now has a Hawaiin shirt long enough to be a robe, which I imagine Lumiere got on him in a state of intoxication, and now the poor Cogsworth cannot take it off without offending the giftgiver. (Really it's a can insulater thing, but this is a much better use, wouldn't you say?) -I've found reason enough to actually be motivated in searching for a better job. -Thank you notes have been written. -I've discovered that clothes belonging to someone else do indeed take time and multiple washings to smell like you instead. -I'm writing again. -The clothes are clean. -Tristran and Isolde won't seem to leave my head. -Yet more Dave Barry has been consumed. -I've a new kind of tea to try. -And dancing's still fun with tired limbs and a neck craned up to kiss someone. 1 Oh, yeah. Right| You're s'posed to stroke it!

[03 Jan 2007|07:03pm] [ mood | curious ] No, it is not dangerous to confuse whitney with angels. Which movie was this quote from? Get your own quotes: 1 Oh, yeah. Right| You're s'posed to stroke it!

[24 Dec 2006|11:04am] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Save Tonight-Eagle Eye Cherry ] So, the birthday was marvellous. And then yesterday I went to work and they were all "Happy birthday! What'd you get? How was the monk place?" and they gave me a card, and the two spa-ish things I really needed-lip balm, and better hand lotion for my birthday, and cards and ornaments for Christmas, and all in all I feel loved and attentioned. Also, it was the last day of work before Christmas and everyone was duel-with-the-plastic-corn-and-bowl-with-the-builder-boards crazy. Employees, that is, not the customers. They were the normal amount of crazy, but also low in number, so it was all good. Then I got to come home and have leftover steak and cake, and hang out with the Faith of Lynn, so there you go. *nods* Also-today I woke myself up by turning off the rain in my room (via sound machine), listening to Phantom of the Opera in my massaging slippers, and then visiting Internetshire with what may be one of the best mugs of tea I have ever had. Possibly I just haven't had tea in far too long, but whyever it is, I do not complain. I'm happy. How are you lot? MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE, POPPETS! 1 Oh, yeah. Right| You're s'posed to stroke it!

I expect you all to call me this now. [24 Dec 2006|10:28am] [ mood | happy ] My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Baroness Whitney the Sage of St Winifred by Winchelsea Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title 1 Oh, yeah. Right| You're s'posed to stroke it!

gip AND meme! *wins as ljdork* [20 Dec 2006|12:39am] [ mood | accomplished ] Evidently, if you've seen over 110 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 240 movies on this list. Put your score in header and re-post. ( yon meme 87 ) You're s'posed to stroke it!

This has been a session. [13 Dec 2006|12:27am] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Where's the Girl?-Scarlet Pimpernel ] FUCK WORK! FUCK THE BITCHES! FUCK SCHEDULES! FUCK YOUR MOM! FUCK DURING SEXY CONVERSATIONS! FUCK THE WORLD! SCREW THE GOVERNMENT!!! And bah. Humbug! (non-traditional punctuating) Alright. (/moanrant. Like mone raths, only more vicious and less effective) So: -The dreams, they are bizarre. Also, frightening. I distinctly remember both one featuring a dumb blonde who got thrown out on her ear and took up hatting, only to get fired for a hat made out of colorful xmas cookies, and then eventually ended up married to some close honcho of the evil guy who fired her, and then since she was rich he liked the stupid cookie hat, but then figured out it was her and she either escaped in a manner worthy of a small child barrelling through a giant plastic playplace, or was shot, I forget which, and one where a man somehow got thrown off the interstate, and ended up wandering some scraggly looking countryside with a barrel of wine, and then got killed when he tried to trade it to escape (from something involvign the interstate?) across a river. In true fairy tale fashion, there was a wooden suspension bridge, and some guy underneath it emerged to do the bargaining/murder. Yeah. -Candy canes are the devil. -Xmas cookies have a siren song. Also, frosting and such. *nods* -"the sadder but wiser girl for me" from the Music Man has somehow gotten into my head. Anyone happen to have it? -If I ruled the world, the first rule would be that someone should invent some sort of easily transportable rampbridge that could go over any road work that needed to be done, so it would not stop traffic so horribly. Surely cannot be that hard. Have movable ramps. Have suspension road bridges. Can scale it down a notch for an extremely good cause, yes? Can make heavy trucks and whatnot take the remaining lane/detours, still. -Also, I would revamp the male wardrobe. Goths could dress like the Huns, nerds in suits, slackers in silk pajamas, the cool guys in long, Pride and Prejudice coats, and tall boots, etc. -Anyone want to have a really sexy conversation? 4 Oh, yeah. Rights| You're s'posed to stroke it!

Dude. [11 Dec 2006|07:11pm] [ mood | hah ] To 'ossify' means to harden. Or to become bone, but whatever. The point is, you could go around saying things like, "I'm ossified, bitch! Do something!" and "I'd like to have a really sexy conversation with you. You should ossify now." Depending, of course. In other news-the other news is mostly boring and I don't feel like writing about it. So, there. You're s'posed to stroke it!

My Xmas Stocking [11 Dec 2006|07:07pm] [ mood | bwahaha ] ( my xmas stocking ) You're s'posed to stroke it!

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